last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
