Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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