and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What happened to fro yo and sex?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
