Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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