Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
