In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
