dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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