I'm really into asian looking animals
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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