so explain again why im purple
no
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
