dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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