Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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