Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
