slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
