just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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