WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
