Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize