i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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