what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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