tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
