you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
