im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
