why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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