just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize