Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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