This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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