no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
