And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
