she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
