yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
