I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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