Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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