omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
