Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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