YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
