; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
