i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
