I can tuck mytits in my pants
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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