so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
