Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
