i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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