well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
