yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
