Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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