Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
