I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
