This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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