I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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