i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
