wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
