He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Randomize
