You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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