best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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