I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
God, I missed his penis.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
