maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
