some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
