I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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