Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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