piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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