What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
