I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
