I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
